Go Away, Darling Read online

  Or he was. Like I said, he learned from his mistakes.

  Anyway, back to the matter at hand. “Well that sounds nice.”

  Berlin frowned. “Nice?”

  It wasn’t like I was going to tell my best friend to go back to her selfish ex, but safe sounded like another relationship disaster in the making. Berlin was a fiery personality. That’s part of why she and Jack worked. He could stand up to her and take whatever came at him and throw it right back. While “safe” Ryker, I suspected, would roll over and play dead.

  Not that I’d met the man. I probably shouldn’t judge. “Missing someone and being missed sounds nice. That’s all I meant. I’d like to be missed one day.”

  And that set off the Chris ache in my chest again. I missed him. After one freaking day. And I wondered if he missed me. I felt like a teenager who didn’t know any better. Because I knew better than to pine for a guy I just met. It was just pheromones and the lack of sexy times in my life.

  “Olivia Alina Saldana...who is he?” She sat bolt upright, jaw slack, eyes wide with excitement.

  Was I that obvious? “I just met him. It’s probably just lust.” I definitely lusted his athletic body. I never thought I had a type, but clearly I did. I had the hots for athletes. And not just any fitness focused guy, elite performance professional athletes.

  I was a disaster.

  “Lust has a purpose.” She swung her legs to the ground. “It’s called sex. Lots of it.”

  I waved to the giggling kid in the next room. “I retired my sex card a long time ago.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s okay to have a fling. It’s okay to fall for someone. You’re not boxed up and stored away just because you have a son.”

  Did I feel boxed up? Maybe a little. It’s just that Linc was still so young and more important to me than anything in the world. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—be impulsive or reckless (even if my body was screaming to stop thinking already.)

  “It’s too soon to know anything yet. Like I said, we only met the once.” And it was unforgettable.

  “Well what’s he like? What got the engine roaring back to life?” Her hands waved through the air, trying to physically coax details out of me.

  “His body is smokin’ hot, but I think it’s his eyes that did me in.” Just remembering the way his eyes smiled and twinkled sent a shiver down my whole body.

  You’re single. Eye twinkle.

  “Where’d you meet, what’s he do? Come on, woman!”

  I winced because I had a feeling Berlin wasn’t going to be so enthusiastic once I confessed the truth. “Uh, you actually know him.”

  She frowned. “Ugh, someone we grew up with? No.” She made spitting sounds.

  The island was so small that everyone we grew up with was essentially a sibling. “Well, we didn’t technically grow up with him.”

  She waved her hands in front of her face. “Speak plainly.”

  “You remember Chris Kaine?”

  Her eyes went wide. “The fucking pitcher? No. We swore off athletes, Olivia. You can’t be serious right now! You have a kid!”

  I tried to swallow the laugh that burst from inside me and mostly succeeded. “Oh, now having a kid is a reason to stay on the shelf?”

  “No! Yes! I mean...anyone but a fucking ballplayer. They’re all narcissistic alpha jerks. You know it. I know it.”

  To be fair, Jack really was all those things until Berlin left him, and Beau had many of those tendencies, but he was also a kind and a good father. But I suspected Chris did not fall into this one-size-fits-all box. He was different somehow.

  “I don’t know it. Not yet. Shouldn’t I give him a chance to prove he’s a narcissistic ass before I send myself back out to pasture?”

  Berlin frowned. “This sounds like a terrible idea...but so is denying yourself some fun. Fine! I will withhold judgement...for now.”

  6

  Well that escalated quickly

  Olivia

  He appeared like a ghost—a daytime ghost—just after three, holding a bait bucket and fishing rod. “Hello Olivia Saldana.” The smile was back. Eyes crinkling, almost dimples flashing. Had it been a week since we stood here awkward and confused? I counted the days, curiosity practically killing me, to see if the weird lightning strike of desire would strike again.

  Boom. There it was. All it took was seeing him and hearing my name on his lips. Electricity crackled between us.

  “Hello Chris Kaine.” I sat under the shade of a tree watching Linc snorkel around the dock.

  Chris set his stuff down and sat in the chair beside me. “How’ve you been?”

  I held my breath hoping it would somehow slow the eruption of butterflies in my chest. It did not. “We’re good. Hell of a game last night.”

  His grin remained intact, but his eyes began to dance as he stared at me. “Thank you. It was fun.”

  His smile was fun. “Really? You seemed almost mad.”

  He bit his lower lip, pulling it through his teeth as he gazed at me. “Not mad. Fired up. I get...passionate about my work.”

  I wondered what it was like when Chris was passionate about people. Me, specifically. I wondered what it would be like if he was that passionate about me. If it was anything like what I glimpsed last night it would be a heady, intense experience. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

  “But you watched me?”

  The way his voice came out all low and quiet...it had a reverberation to it. A sexy vibration that made my skin hot and made me think of kissing. “We did. Linc recognized you right away.”

  His eyes flicked to the water where Linc was presently kicking up enough water to soak the dock. “Nice to know I made an impression.”

  “Understatement. He hasn’t stopped talking about his ‘new friend Chris.’” Linc hadn’t attached himself to anyone—kid or adult—like this...ever. And it made me wonder what kind of magic surrounded Chris Kaine to entrance us both so completely.

  His gaze moved to me and he turned in his chair. “Is that why you said you weren’t single? Because you’re protecting him?”

  Relief washed over me. I was so worried I would need to explain the delicate emotions of an eight year old and why I kept my dating life (or lack there of) separate. “Yes.”

  “Have I fucked things up already?”

  “No.” I tried not to get too excited by the unsaid implications of his statement. He likes me too.

  “I shoved my way into your life. I fully understand if you want to shove me back out.”

  “Chris.” I waited for his worried gaze to return to mine. “You are our next door neighbor. He was going to meet you at some point and I have no doubts you would have been friendly, whether I was involved or not.”

  He half smiled at that. “He reminds me of me.”

  “He better not be flirting with girls behind my back.”

  Chris barked out a laugh and slapped his knee. “I was a particularly girl crazy kid, but that isn’t what I mean. He’s friendly and enjoys talking and fishing and telling stories.”

  Oh. “Well then yes, you two are very alike.”

  His eyes danced again and his smile returned. “And for the record, I was only ever a flirt with you.”

  Now I knew he was lying. But I didn’t challenge him. Mostly because I liked being the center of his attention as well as the idea that I might be his current subject of flirtation. He tangled his fingers with mine.

  “Liv?”

  “Yeah?” I stared at our hands, touching but not, the electricity surging up my arm.

  “I don’t have a crush on you anymore.”

  My heart fell. “Oh?”

  He shook his head. “No. My five year old crush was a shadow of what I’m feeling right now. It crushes that old crush.”

  “So you don’t have a crush on me?”

  “Nope.” He curled his fingers around mine, completing the circuit. “My maleness is attracted to your femaleness. In ways that a crush simply cannot compete.”r />
  Maleness. Chris was definitely very male. Masculine. Strong and sexy and...I needed to concentrate. “So what you’re saying is?”

  “I want to be more than next door neighbors.”

  Suddenly I found that breathing was rather difficult.

  “Is that so?” I liked the way he made something so honest and intimate a little bit funny.

  “To clarify, I am very attracted to you physically and mentally. I know we don’t really know each other, not really, but so far I’ve learned that you are kind—who else would stop a fellow boater? You’re neighborly and you have a great kid, which speaks volumes about you. I’d like, very much, to get to know a lot more about you.”

  Linc popped up out of the water, lining up shells on our little beach area. He remained solidly focused on his collection, ignoring us completely.

  “I’d like to get to know you as well. But in front of Linc we need to be neighbors. Until we decide if we actually like each other.”

  The corner of his lip twitched like he was both amused and victorious. “Deal.” Then he removed his hand from mine and called over to my son. “What you got there?”

  Linc’s head popped up, searching for the voice, then he tossed off his mask and snorkel. “Chris! You’re back!” He came running over to us.

  “Well of course I am. We have to make dinner for your mom. Remember?”

  “Of course I remember!” Linc rolled his eyes and gave me a wide-eyed look like can you believe this guy? “Here Mom. I have a half a conch for your garden and these olives are pretty.” He plunked three shells into my hand, then turned back to Chris. “Oh good, you brought bait and your own pole. We should get started.”

  “I agree. Grab your pole.”

  While Linc ran up to the porch, Chris picked up the book I was reading. “Relax and enjoy. Linc and I are taking things from here.”

  Then, and I still haven’t recovered from it, he winked at me. But it wasn’t silly or cheesy. It was damn sexy. My knees went weak and thankfully I was already sitting.

  “Well let me know if you need anything.”

  He shot me a damn sexy smirk as he retrieved his stuff and sauntered down the dock just ahead of Linc. I watched them for a long time. Linc never once looked my way. He had complete faith in his new friend and, I suspected, a strong desire to do something so grown up (even if making dinner would one day seem like a miserable chore.)

  And Chris devoted his attention to Linc, only glancing my way when their lines were in the water. It took them an hour and a half to catch dinner and another hour to clean the fish and ready them for cooking.

  I was not allowed in the kitchen, but I enjoyed the show from the comfort of the couch with a glass of wine I didn’t even have to pour myself. Chris moved around the kitchen naturally and was surprisingly good at giving simple instructions.

  After dinner we took Chris on a walk along the beach. The whole time my hand itched to grab his. To have that easy comfort and familiarity again (with a man.) I hadn’t realized how something so simple could make me feel like I was missing such a key component to my life. Hand holding was just that: hands pressed together. And yet it was so much more than that. It was connection. An unspoken I want to be with you and only you. You are precious to me.

  By the time we returned home the sun was set and Linc was exhausted, so I let him turn on a television show while I helped Chris restore the kitchen to order.

  “Thank you for this.”

  “You shouldn’t be cleaning up my mess.” He tried to shoulder me out of the way.

  “It’s hardly a mess. You cleaned almost everything as you were cooking.” Aside from the pan soaking in the sink during our walk, everything was neat and tidy. The dishwasher was nearly done running.

  “Stop it! Do not touch that pan.” He turned and put his entire muscular body between me and the sink.

  I was not complaining about his tactics. Not one bit. “Or you’ll what?”

  His gaze flickered past me to the couch then back again. His eyebrow waggled and his eyes darkened. His voice came out low and rough. “Or I’ll kiss you.”

  I should lunge for this sink. But no, not in front of Linc. “Dirty move.”

  He shrugged. “Is it though?”

  I turned and found Linc asleep. Mouth open, maybe a little drool, arms lifelessly dangling toward the floor. Chris moved behind me, hands on my hips, lips at my ear. “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.” Then he kissed me once lightly below my ear.

  I gasped. A shockwave went roaring through my body and I instinctively arched into him, sending my breasts up and my butt back.

  Chris groaned.

  Oh yes, this physical attraction was very, very real. Age and athlete be damned. Sure I didn’t know much about Chris except he was an excellent baseball player who was nice and friendly, but my body wanted me to get to know the rest of him. Immediately.

  This was both exciting and disconcerting.

  “I think I better say my good nights,” he whispered, clearly fighting back his own desires.

  It warmed me inside and out to know his reaction was as fierce as my own. “Yes. Okay.”

  “Do you need help putting him to bed?”

  I’m ashamed to admit that instead of thinking of my son, my brain went right to putting Chris in my bed. “Uh, no. I might let him stay right where he is, actually.”

  “Yeah. Okay. Well then. I guess I’ll be going.”

  I followed him to the door, walking a half step behind and staring at the hand I wanted to hold. I bet it was rough and strong and big. It certainly looked rough and strong and big.

  He stood on my front porch and turned back with a smile. “We’ve got three home games this week, so I’ll be back and forth. Would you be available for lunch one day?”

  I nodded quickly. “Yes. Yes I could be.”

  “Okay then. I have to be at the field early tomorrow, so how about the day after?”

  “Yes. I say yes.” Oh my god. I didn’t even sound like myself. I was never giddy.

  His eyes dropped to my lips and held. “Good night, Liv.”

  My heart began to pound. And I do mean pound. The sound filled my ears and forced my lungs to work harder. Chris wanted to kiss me goodnight. And even more importantly, I wanted to kiss him goodnight.

  But he wasn’t going to because of Linc. Which meant if I wanted this kiss, I would have to be the one to initiate it.

  I glanced into the house to be sure he was still asleep, and then crossed to Chris in two strides, cupping his face with one hand, my fingers sliding around his neck to his hair, and pulled his lips to mine.

  If I thought the peck in the kitchen was overwhelming, then this was a full blown explosion. Lip contact quickly turned into full on make out as Chris groaned, tilted his head, and deepened the kiss. His arms went around me, and mine around him, our bodies pressing, moving, rubbing. Then my legs were around his waist. Did I jump or did he pick me up? I honestly had no recollection of the actions that got me there. I was too absorbed in the moment. Chris was warm and strong, his tongue was soft and urgent, the sounds coming from his chest made me feel powerful.

  He turned and pressed my back against the column and I tore my lips from his to gasp, to gulp air. It was too much and not enough all at once.

  Chris groaned again, his head dropping to my shoulder. “Well that escalated quickly.”

  I laughed, running my fingers through his hair. “I liked it.”

  He sucked a kiss at the joint between my shoulder and throat. “So did I. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

  “Maybe the day after tomorrow.” It was high time Linc had a playdate with Emerson.

  He looked up and the depth of emotions in his eyes took my breath away. “I won’t have much time, but whatever I have is yours.”

  I unwrapped my legs and finally slid down to earth. “I understand.” Was I really going to do this to myself again? Date another athlete who was only home for scraps of time?

&nb
sp; He dropped his forehead to mine and erased my doubts as he cupped my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. Yes. I was going to see where this went, even if it was a dead end. “Goodnight Olivia.”

  “Goodnight Chris.”

  7

  Doesn’t sound familiar

  Chris

  “You look damn chipper,” Scott muttered as I slid him a cup of coffee.

  “I am damn chipper.”

  He grunted into his mug. “This because of Olivia?”

  “I have a lunch date.” After my morning run and shower I had two hours before I needed to be on the road to the stadium and I was spending all of it with Liv.

  “So it’s going well?”

  Once again I felt conflicted on what to share. Could vocalizing my hope somehow cause it to evaporate? I knew that wasn’t possible, but it all felt too delicate to put too much pressure on, either. “I don’t know yet. Until I do, let’s keep it between us.”

  He smiled wryly and grunted agreement.

  “How was Grandma Kaine?”

  Scott grunted again. “As usual, full of wisdom and caftans.”

  He basically moved in after his surprise visit. With my schedule and distractedness, I hadn’t had time to pry the why out of my brother, but I was determined to do that soon.

  “Just remember,” Scott said suddenly, “we’re all doomed until the old is new again.”

  I stared at him for a few long moments wondering if he’d lost his damn mind. “What?”

  He shrugged. “When we were struck by lighting. Remember what Grandma Kaine said? We wouldn’t find love until the old was new again.”

  I kept staring at him because clearly Scott had lost his marbles in Hollyweird. It was one thing to entertain Grandma’s stories, it was another to believe them.

  “Seriously.” He sat forward, ruffled his hair and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.”

  “Why?” Why would he ever think about Grandma Kaine’s crazy ramblings? I loved the woman, she was my Grandma after all, but she was wacky. Always had been. She read tarot cards and went to psychics. She said lots of crazy things growing up. Sure, we were only struck by lighting the once, but still.