Reckless Love Read online

  I had a dream that someday everyone would enjoy history and stop repeating it. It wouldn’t happen, but I was going to try anyway.

  The alarm on my phone went off. “All right Jeffry, time to go. I’ve got to get dressed for a party.”

  “Oh a party! Can I come?”

  I looked at his bright green t-shirt that proclaimed, “This is my humerus shirt” with a picture of the arm bone beside it. “Um, I don’t think this is your kind of party. It’s for Leo’s work.” I didn’t mention it was a cocktail party at my father’s house because Jeffry didn’t know I was related to the owner of the Renegades and I planned on keeping it that way.

  “Yeah, no. That doesn’t sound like a party at all. Except for the rich athletes. But Leo banned me from taking pictures with his clients after I tried to get Dante to take a selfie with me in the bathroom.”

  Poor Dante. “Did you need something, Jeffry?” I began pushing him toward the door. “Or did you just stop by for fun?”

  “What? Oh! That’s right. I wanted to see if you would be interested in a party at our house next Saturday. A real party. It’s Hope’s birthday.”

  “Of course we’ll be there.” I liked Hope and found it fascinating how she turned Jeffry into an almost normal person when she was around. Quite the opposite of the effect I had on him.

  “Awesome blossom! I’ll send you and Leo the details. Have fun tonight!”

  Fun. Yeah right.

  Instead of thinking about where I was going and why, I grabbed my dress and focused on something I did enjoy. Getting dressed up and thinking about what it would do to Leo.

  The dress I picked was a favorite of mine—a very expensive black Oscar de la Renta. It was strapless and had a corset-style bustier with an asymmetrical line along my breasts. The skirt fell to my knees in a slim pencil shape. I went all out styling my hair and painted my lips the same shade of red as my shoes.

  I knew what red lips did to Leo. Loved it when his eyes went wild and when his control eventually snapped. There was so much power in drawing out the process of placing my lips around his cock, working my way down his shaft and marking him. Maybe tonight I’d take him back to the alcove by the kitchen. He wouldn’t wash off the ring of red until we got home.

  And that really got me hot.

  In fact, I had to stop thinking about my plans or else I’d ruin my panties.

  Unfortunately I got dressed too quickly and had to wait. The more I waited the more anxious I became. What would Edmund say tonight? What favor did he require? At the last party it was more about flexing his control over me than getting his precious predictions. Tonight would be different. I just wish I knew how so I could plan for it. In many ways it was the lack of knowledge that made me the most nervous. That and the fact I was going there with my own intentions. I swear I thought Edmund was capable of seeing straight through me. In my mind he was a human lie detector who’d take one look at me and know I was searching for information.

  My father would never be the loving figure who doted or watched over his children. We were his prizes. William the reward of his first wife. The woman he married for his first million then divorced after his son and heir was born. I was the reward of his second wife, the woman who was supposed to be nothing more than a mistress. Instead she became pregnant with me and Edmund married her to stave off the scandal. They divorced when I was two so that Edmund could marry the beautiful young heir to an airline. During their five year marriage there was a string of mistresses. In the end Edmund got the airline and his wife got a new husband in Greece. After that, he stuck to marrying women just out of college and got rid of them before they hit twenty-eight. My father had a type and it disgusted me.

  I was stuck in a spiral of unpleasant thoughts when Leo finally arrived. “Hey, Love. Sorry I’m late. There was an accident and traffic on Malfunction Junction was a mess.” He quietly closed the door and stood there drinking me in.

  Malfunction Junction was the affectionate (and yes, I mean that sarcastically) way locals referred to the mess that was the tangle of interstates near downtown. It had gotten much better but was still a constant headache.

  “It’s fine.” I tried to wave it off but Leo, with his super powers of observation, caught on.

  “You’re not fine. Come here. You look fucking gorgeous in that dress.” His eyes drifted to my lips and there it was. The fire.

  I bit my lip and smiled. Thinking about what I’d do to Leo’s cock was a lot more fun than where mind had just been. “Thank you.”

  He groaned. “Oh you’re going to kill me, Esme. Stop biting your red lips. All I can think about is sex now.”

  I went into his arms and accepted the warm security of his body. “I told you we should get some exercise before the party. It’ll get rid of all our tension.”

  “I’m not fucking you here. I really will ruin this dress and your beautiful hair. I want my fist in that braid.” He turned me slightly so he could examine it more closely.

  That was why I created the sweeping rope. Leo had become more and more fond of my hair during sex and I got an adrenaline rush from finding new ways to entice him. Because again, sex was my escape and lately I’d been needing to escape. “Please?”

  His hand drifted over the bodice of my dress, danced over the tops of my breasts, teasing me with soft touches and obvious adoration. Then he closed his hand gently around the column of my neck. “I have an idea that I think will satisfy us both.”

  My anxiety-riddled body zinged to life as he held me. I knew Leo would never hurt me. He had full control over his body and emotions. When he closed his hand around my throat it was for my pleasure alone. I could see that he didn’t get off on it the way I did. It was only my response that finally dilated his pupils and turned his breaths deeper.

  His gaze drifted to my lips one more time. “Bend over, love.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew a plug, holding it up for me to examine.

  My inner muscles clenched and without thinking I licked my lips again. “Oh yes.”

  Leo slid my skirt up over my hips and began petting me, playing his part and allowing me to descend into mine. “You’ve been thinking about me, haven’t you? You’re wet and swollen.” His fingers pushed my panties aside and brushed along my lips. “So warm.”

  Maybe choosing to be Esme instead of Rosalind was a great idea because what Leo was doing right now was allowing me to fully embrace the freedom of the woman I became on my own. She wasn’t perfect but she was powerful and knew how to use sex as a sword and shield. I never enjoyed slipping back into my old clothes and hated reverting into my old role. But tonight, with Leo and his dirty plans at my side, I was going to attempt something new. Tonight I’d attend as me.

  Leo kept up a stream of wonderful praise as he sank his fingers inside me. He massaged my hips and ass, gently lubricated me, and then ever so slowly, plugged me.

  “We’ll go to this party and we’ll be on our very best behavior,” he murmured. “No one will know that you’re wet for me. They won’t know how I’ve fucked you by the kitchen or that all night long you’ll be walking around like this.” He gave it a gentle tug. “No one but me will know how badly you want to be fucked at the end of the night.”

  “Yes,” I whispered over and over. Each statement reaffirming how well he understood me and would always give me just what I needed.

  “Knowing all this will let you clear your mind, Esme. You’ll focus on what matters.” He smoothed everything back into place and spun me to him. “You. Me. And the truth.” He kissed me deeply, showing me just how affected he was by all this too.

  CHAPTER 4

  I didn’t notice how incredibly handsome Leo was until he insisted on helping me out of the car. He stood outside my door with his hand extended and all I could do was drink in the black suit and red tie, the way it was cut to accentuate his shoulders and trim waist. I loved that he always bought shirts made of the finest fabrics.

  “Your tie matches my shoes.”

/>   “And your lips.” He gave my hand a little tug and then I was in his arms. “I like it when we match.”

  It was so very couply and sweet. “I like that you like to match me.”

  “Good.” He placed a kiss behind my ear. “Tonight you can return the favor and match me in bed.”

  “You mean naked.”

  “What else could I possibly mean?” he chuckled.

  He had me distracted and laughing so much I didn’t have time to panic before we were inside with a hundred of my father’s closest business contacts. Seeing Marie already sipping a drink with her husband Greg kept that panic from rising. “Let’s say hello.”

  But Leo slowed his steps and leaned in to whisper. “Are you wet for me?”

  The dull ache in my core created by the constant presence of the plug, combined with his refusal to satisfy me, had indeed turned me into an aroused heat factory of desire.

  In short, yes, I was quite wet for Leo. “Take me to a dark alcove and find out for yourself,” I whispered back.

  He groaned, placing a kiss behind my ear. “I’ll take that at as an emphatic yes. I love that I’m the only one here who knows how ready you are for me. Trust me, darling. I will reward you.”

  Marie was understandably wary of my relationship with Leo so I didn’t take it as an insult when she forced a smile at us. “Hey you two.”

  She knew me, my family, and how incredibly complicated it all was. More importantly, how that complication could impact the lives of the people around us. It was probably why my brother never got serious with anyone. I could only imagine how that conversation would go.

  Hello darling. I’d love to introduce you to my father. He’s the devil incarnate, makes me work insane hours, expects my complete allegiance, and will probably try to sleep with you at some point. Shall I set us for dinner on Tuesday?

  Yeah no. At least William had the good sense to keep whatever romantic interests he might have far, far away from Edmund. Unlike me. The idiot who’d just brought the only person she cared about into the maelstrom. I’d hate myself for it but Leo made it impossible. It was either ditch him and break his heart or accept that he would be part of this, fire and all.

  Greg rolled his eyes at his wife’s fake laugh and shook Leo’s hand. “It’s been a while since you’ve been over for dinner. Why don’t you two come by on Wednesday. I’ll make my fettuccini and get us all drunk on wine.”

  This was the other side of the coin. Leo’s life. He had friends and connections and relationships (healthy ones!) with all kinds of people. Going to dinner sounded so incredibly normal it damn near terrified me.

  And that was really fucking sad.

  Leo slipped his arm around my waist. “Only if my boss let’s me leave the office.” He smiled at Marie.

  A little of her ice melted and she elbowed him in the ribs. “I guess it depends on how nice you are to your boss.”

  “I’m always nice,” he quipped.

  They traded a few more teasing insults before Marie—much to my surprise—grabbed my arm. “Let’s get a drink.”

  “You already have a drink.” I pointed to the wine in her hands.

  She handed the mostly full glass to Greg. “I don’t anymore.”

  Greg shrugged. “Works for me. I like expensive reds.”

  Leo gave my hip a squeeze and let me go.

  Marie gave Greg a flirty smile before steering me towards the closest bar. “You two are cute together.”

  “Cute?” I wasn’t so sure I wanted to hear us described as cute. Beautiful, sure. Lovely worked too. But cute? That was something you said when your five year old had a playground crush on another five year old.

  “Yeah, cute. You’re both so stylish and does his tie match your lipstick?”

  “And my shoes.” I held out my foot. “He saw me pick them out this morning. He must have chosen his tie when I wasn’t looking.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  I ordered a Blanton’s on the rocks while she ordered another merlot. I’d never really known Marie as an adult so this was weird. In my head she was still my brother’s friend from down the street, a mysterious, rebellious role model. In so many ways we were alike. We both came from privileged families with overbearing parents. We both pushed back against the expectations. For me that meant shocking my father in every way possible. For Marie, it meant having a child in high school.

  “How’s Natalie?”

  Marie beamed. “Awesome. She’s in France working for her father for a few months then she’s scheduled to be back here at the university for grad school.”

  “Really?” I drew the word out more than necessary but come on, I had no idea Natalie was part of my world.

  “Yep. She’s moving on to her master’s degree already. I can’t believe it!”

  “No kidding. She was a baby yesterday, wasn’t she?”

  “Yes she was,” Marie sighed. “And you were the kid sister next door. I’ve really got to get it through my head that you aren’t that little girl anymore.”

  I kind of wanted to be that girl again. Back then my father hadn’t figured out he could use my brain. I hadn’t started making choices solely because they were the opposite of what was expected. In many ways I liked that Marie saw me that way.

  “You don’t want me dating Leo.”

  Her eyes darted away and her shoulders stiffened. “It’s not that. Not exactly.”

  “Your fears are justified.” So incredibly justified. “The fact that I’m standing here, inside this house, is proof.”

  “Esme.” She put her hand on my arm and looked around the room, her gaze landing on a quiet corner near the patio. “Let’s talk.”

  The evening breeze was light tonight and the doors were open letting the salty scent of the bay inside. “I tried breaking up with him. Several times. He’s just so . . . stubborn.” I honestly felt like if I kept talking she’d eventually understand.

  “I don’t think he knows any other way to be. You’re his first. And men like Leo, they have tunnel vision. They find their woman and that’s it. There is no other option.”

  “He’s . . . determined.”

  Marie smiled. “And probably thinks he can solve every problem. That’s a man for you.”

  Some of my nervous energy dissipated. Maybe Marie and I could start a brand new relationship after all. “He definitely thinks some persistence and action will fix everything.” In so many ways I was relieved he finally knew everything, but every so often his tenacity exhausted me. There was only so much I could do. I had the data, I knew what was happening, but until I put the pieces together or some new piece of information came forward, I couldn’t do anything else.

  We both felt tonight held a great deal of opportunity. I was exhausted but determined. Leo was fresh faced and ready to fight.

  “I understand,” she smiled across the room at her husband. “I’m married to a persistent man. They can be a handful but they’re worth it.” Then she blinked back at me. “I do worry what it will mean for Leo to have Edmund in his life, even if it is from a distance. I warned him to avoid you.”

  “I don’t blame you. I would have done the same.” If William appeared with a woman on his arm that I genuinely thought wanted to be with him, I’d warn her away too.

  “I know you would have,” she said quietly. “There are things Greg and Leo will never understand. Maybe that’s why we need them.”

  Did I love Leo just a little bit more because of that? Yes, I probably did. Being with him meant being completely freed of my past and that was addictive. “You know what I want?” I waited for Marie to meet my gaze. “I want to close the book on this part of my life entirely, even if it means never speaking to William again. I want to be free to fully embrace my life at the university. My research is my life. I never want to be dragged down again simply because of my name or who my father is. I want to be with someone and not worry my past will ruin their future.”

  That was what really ate at me. It was on
e thing to take the punishments I deserved. I committed crimes and acted out. Those choices were on me. But the idea that so much was out of my control, that I had no way of knowing how or if or when everything might come crashing back down, was unacceptable.

  Marie’s gaze sharpened and I knew she’d heard at least some of the rumors. “I heard a few things about you. I had a kid so I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention but . . . they’re true, aren’t they?” She studied me and I could see her dawning realization as things clicked into place. “If you did ruin your father’s business I don’t blame you. You always were a smart kid.”

  The way Edmund dropped everything and appeared at my college was well known in our circles, but with no facts the rumor mills took the information and created their own stories. The gossip involved everything from me gaining access to my trust and burning through it, to hacking into my father’s servers and destroying one of his companies, to faking my own kidnapping for ransom money. I really enjoyed that one because it was almost as ludicrous as the truth.

  “And I never knew what to think of the other rumors.” She cocked her head to the side, her gaze unfocusing with thought. “Does Leo know?”

  “Yes,” I said simply. My heart started pounding in my chest because this part was true and if Marie judged me for it there was nothing I could do. The truth was the truth.

  “I guess that makes sense.” Her eyes refocused and she smiled. It was kind of sad but not at all judgmental. “Leo’s a very caring guy but I understood. The more caring you are the harder it is to be truly vulnerable. His one-night-stands and weekend sex parties made sense even if I did want him to find something deeper with someone. What about you, Esme? Were you hiding or protecting yourself or what?”

  There wasn’t a drop of accusation in her voice. If anything Marie was hoping to be helpful. There was so much care in her words and tenderness in her eyes. I wanted to hug her but didn’t.

  “I was with Luke and Daniel to save myself as much as I was with them to tear my world apart,” I whispered.